Day Two

VEE:  Two days down out of two weeks and I'm a selfish grouch.  In my heart I want to be helpful and understanding but exteriorly I feel like I'm being a pain.  Radiation is so interesting in that we can't immediately see it, touch it, taste it or know it is there.  My mom said she was feeling a bit nauseous tonight and has an ice cream pail with her in case she vomits.  I'm sitting here with the number of the nuclear medicine office on my desk, in case she spews, because I know that her vomit is highly radioactive and must be taken there to be disposed of but if that happens I have a zillion other questions I will be asking them.  I hope I don't have to!

DS:  Vee, why didn't you prepare for this?  Didn't your mother have to do this before months ago?  What was the procedure back then?  Have things changed?  Is this a more "potent" dosage? 

Needless to say, I'm worried.  :/

VEE:  Yes mom did this a couple months ago, and yes this is a more potent dose.  I did prepare though.  I've got my own bathroom and after my nurse sister who has little kids (at home not here) is done staying here for work, tonight is her last night, I will move downstairs.  As she has kids she should have the least exposure possible.  The docs tend to measure the exposure at how long and how close one is to the patient.  She is not to be around anyone closer than 3ft for more than an hour.


It is really interesting as well how radiation in cancer patients can help them and slow or stop the spread of cancer, however, in non-cancer people it can cause lots of problems!


I love my mom and wish things weren't like this.  It is a crucible for all of us in our own way, hopefully forging us into better people.  As Our Lady said to St Bernadette, "I cant promise you happiness in this life" I am reminded that earthly happiness and the joy God brings are two different things and we have here no lasting home.


People think they know happiness, love, etc., but if they don't know God they know only a mere shadow of these things.  God is absolute Love, Truth, Justice, Mercy, Beauty beyond our comprehension because we are the creatures created by Him and we must have humility.  He loves my mom far more than I ever could and will care for her always, even when it seems He is far away and doesn't care.  


DS:  Suffering does bring about humility.  In my own experience, watching my mother die a slow and painful death, I stood before the Blessed Sacrament many times and came crashing down upon my knees totally spent.  There was nothing I could possibly do to alleviate my mother's pain, only God...ONLY GOD could do that.  I could do nothing.  In my human weakness, I failed to see the good of it all, but my mother, who was a saint, would tell me time and again, "You must be prepared for the Will of God."  (She could see I was not accepting it.)  Many times I woke to her praying in the middle of the night, bed-ridden, wounded and in pain, whispering to Jesus with a strange joy, "Here I am, Lord....I come to do your Will."  


You are correct, Vee, in saying that it seems like God is far away and not caring to a soul who has to endure much suffering.  The truth is, God is glorified and is Present in a mystical way in a person who suffers greatly.  It is one of the mysteries of our Faith, one of the mysteries of God, who Himself sent His Only Son to the world to die an agonizing death.  Unlike the standards set by the world to avoid suffering at any costs, God shows us that there is much merit in suffering, and I pray that your mother will be given abundant strength and graces in the midst of her agony.

Absolute

VEE:  one of the reasons (the other is in the last post's comments) I havent been posting is because tomorrow my mom will take a radioactive pill to help fight her cancer.  I've been working on renovating our other bathroom for my use in the next week or two so I am not exposed to the radiation from her.  The list of do's and dont's for her, and anyone in her home, is sobering.  She has to use her own utensils, she has to flush 2-3 times after using the toilet, she can't be around people closer than three feet for more than an hour so she won't be able to go to Mass ...and the list goes on and on. 

There are things in life that are black and white, no grey area,  no matter how much we might wish there was one or make one of our own imagining.  There is no grey area with radiation ...no grey area with death.  People shy away from absolutes but absolutes exist whether people acknowledge them or not ...

DS:   I will be praying for your mother, as I always do, and for you and the rest of the family during this time.  I can't imagine having a loved one go through such things, and I can only say that the Lord has really given you the grace to endure these trials.

Truth is an absolute.  People may have thousands of opinions of what Truth is, but their opinions neither take away or add to Truth.  I once met a blind man who refused to believe in the sun, even when he felt it beaming on him during the day, and enjoyed all the life that comes from it.  His opinion of the sun didn't stop it from traveling across the earth's sky, nor did his disbelief make it disappear.

Truth is Truth, and opinions are so insignificant against it ...  

Computer blues

For those of you who are wondering why we haven't posted as much these last few weeks, my computer is in the hospital, and I am hoping to get him back sometime this week. 

Until then, go to Mass, behave y'all selves and drink some good beer...

Pentecost

Restout's "Pentecost"

VEE: On this 'fiftieth day' after Easter we hear in the Gospel about all kinds of exciting, miraculous things and this heavenly fire called the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit moves like eternal flame, never dying out but enlivening the Catholic church and setting souls aflame.  On that first Pentecost we hear of how the disciples could suddenly speak foreign languages thus helping to convert the listeners.  Today we still need the Holy spirit to give us the words, even in our native tongue, to speak on a level that those we are called to help draw closer to Christ will understand.

The Spirit moves where it wishes and no one can escape.  Those who wallow in sin, those who run from God, those who could care less, and those who have no clue.  God desires each of us to be on fire for Him because He loves each of us as if no one else existed and will stop at nothing to capture your heart.  Your lukewarmness will be set aflame because the alternative is as He knows, eternal damnation.  He will come after us til the end of our lives to save us from ourselves and our sins because He longs for us to be with Him.  Only by your not wanting to be with Him in the end  will be the only thing that separates you from God.

DS:  Happy birthday to the Holy Roman Catholic Church!  On this date, the Church baptized thousands at the hands of the apostles.  The Holy Spirit came upon each and every single one of them like a strong burning wind possessing their souls--- these men were never the same again.  One might ask, where is the zeal and the energy of that day?  Do the members of the Church seem to you as sleepy?  Lukewarm?  Wounded?  The last 40 years have been a trying time for our Church, many members do not even know their basic prayers, and their basic beliefs.  It still astounds me when I read statistics showing the percentage of Catholics who do not even know what the Mass is, or believe in the True Presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist!   After Vatican II, we went through a dizzying time of re-inventing the wheel and came up with square pegs.  Why does this happen?  I don't know, but I believe its time for us to embrace that first Pentecost and allow the Holy Spirit to set us on fire!  Bl. Pope John Paul II called for a "new springtime" in the Church.  Pope Benedict is doing everything the Holy Spirit is inspiring him to do in order to see us through this new springtime.   I can only offer my own simple solution to the problems:  pray, pray, pray to the Holy Spirit, call upon Him always, and He will not disappoint!  I trust in Him and I have all my confidence that the members of the Church will awaken from their slumbers and propagate the Faith with renewed zeal and love and charisma, to be lights in this dark world and true members of the Body of Christ on earth...

BEER!

DS:   Today I traveled to a prominent liquor warehouse and perused their wide variety of beers from all over the nation as well as the whole entire world.  It was quite a collection, and I'm happy to inform you that I decided on Leinenkugel's Summer Sampler Pack. :D :D :D

I have NEVER had the pleasure of even a sip of this fine beer.  It is quite a sampler.  It includes 3 bottles of four of the brewery's best beers:      Honeyweiss, Classic Amber, Summer Shandy, and Sunset Wheat.  I will review each after I drink a few more samples. :)

The Leinenkugel's brewery has been in production for over 135 years.  It is located in the beautiful state of Wisconsin (not only home to the best cheez, people, but some of the nation's finest beers...)  Here is their website:   Leinenkugel's

Anyhoo, don't wait for my reviews, I suggest you go out and try some of this awesome beer.  It is delish.  Some men may find it a little too delicate for their tastes, but I think men should buy a stash and drink it secretly when no one is watching...

Happy Mother's Day

VEE:  We all have a perfect mother in Mary and in the Catholic Church.  When our Earthly mothers disappoint, fail, or are absent we are still not alone.

DS:  My earthly mom never disappointed me.  She did leave me in '06. :(  Happy Mom's day, mommy.  I can only imagine the beauty you live in now, and how much your happiness has been fulfilled after a life of so much sorrow and suffering.  I love you more than this world can hold....and since love never dies...I know you live forever!

Happy mother's day to all the mom's out there!  God bless!

Teresa of the Andes Part 6

VEE:  THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!  I keep thinking of the scene after she dies and is laying in the choir surrounded by flowers and all the nuns.  The family is permitted to enter the sanctuary and walk right up to the grille.  They stand there waiting facing the dark curtain when suddenly the curtain is drawn back and they can see that beautiful scene.  She was not alone as her brother earlier cried thinking about.  What thoughts went through their minds upon seeing that?  Seeing the beauty and glory of a holy life, a life we all are called to live wherever we are, yet many of those close to her were caught up in a tepid faith or worldly ways.  

Apparently her sister Rebecca entered that same Carmel within the year but I wonder what became of the other family members?  One would think that with a saint in the family the other family members would easily change their ways and get to heaven but we do have free will so who knows.

I cant believe Ive turned into such a nerd watching nun movies.  It was only several years ago that I was watching shows like Jackass.  God does interesting things to people.

DS:  The movie is over.  All I can say after watching the final episode is "wow."  It hit me emotionally and spiritually.  We witness the death of a saint, in all its drama, joy, sadness, glory.  St. Teresa of the Andes "heard" the Blessed Virgin tell her that within one months time, she would be gone from her mortal entrapment.  At first, this is too much to bear for Teresa, and the first and only person she shares this information is with her chaplain.  His only response for her is to live for Christ "even if that means living here for another 50 years."  (He doesn't believe her.)  On Good Friday, the other sisters notice how faint Teresa looks, and she is taken to her cell, never to leave it again.  The actress, Paulina Urrutia, gives a convincing portrayal of the saint in all her sufferings... this is where I just lost it...what we witness next, is the beautiful love the sisters have for their sister-in-Christ.  They take care of her, stay by her bedside, and try their best to relieve her suffering.  Try as they might, the suffering remains.  Teresa is an offering, an oblation to the Lord.  She struggles as typhus rages through her boddy.  There is no relief.  The relief only comes when the Lord comes to take her to Him forever. 

Many have said the movie moves at a very slow pace.  I agree, but at the same time, I remained very entertained with the characters.  You get to see what environment Teresa grew up in, her family and her experiences that led her to Carmel.  We see a depth in Teresa that we rarely get to see in most Saint movies.  I believe it is a very beautiful depiction of the saint, one that left me inspired to do everything I can to move closer to Jesus.   I highly recommend this movie.